The Reason I Can Never Truly Get a Good Night’s Sleep in Beirut
There are many reasons why you can never truly get a good night’s sleep in Beirut. Mosquitoes – notoriously aggravating masters of assault who love to inflict terror on the souls of the innocent – are definitely at the top of that list.
I mean, Malaria may have killed HALF the humans that ever lived. I think we can all agree that mosquitoes are the worst. They are helpful to no one and nothing.
According to the merciless laws of nature, this bloodsucking asshole will – without fail – find a way to buzz around your head for the entirety of the night.
Should you manage to catch one alive, I recommend negotiating ransom with its family in exchange for free passage away from your apartment.
Far less diplomatic means call for killing the heartless bastards. They will, after all, be the soldiers of tomorrow.
Not unlike Kanye West, mosquitoes dance around and just laugh at you for even trying to pretend you don’t notice their antics.
Is there anything more universally detested? No. No, there is not.
