Most people outside the Middle East use a Blackberry alongside a mobile phone for business purposes. The device’s target audience is not, as we all believed, tweens looking for a newer version of MSN Messenger. The only fruit in the tech market is Apple, people.
Subtract extra points if you have a Nokia. Do you miss infrared THAT much?!
A Hotmail account
No one will take you seriously, guys. “Oh, I just haven’t gotten around to getting a Gmail”. REALLY? WHY? Are you too busy replying to chain emails from when you were 12? Forward this message to 20 people before 11:03 or LOSE YOUR SOCIAL LIFE.
Subtract extra points if you still use the same address. I’m looking at you, angelboy69xxx.
A desktop computer
Oh, the sweet sound of a beat up computer mouse being swished around on a disintegrating mouse pad that’s peeling at the sides. Who still has the patience to go TO their computer instead of the other way around? Get with the times and you’ll realize there’s not much to be missed. If you’re reading this from a desktop though, don’t forget to turn off the monitor before leaving.
Subtract extra points if Internet Explorer is your browser.
A mix CD
If you still have to pass by a music shop to make a playlist or burn a CD at your computer to have music on hand, your lifestyle needs a makeover. Buy an external hard disk or an auxiliary cord. Hammoudi Best Music probably sells both those things so you’re good.
Subtract extra points if you keep them in a labelled case and call them mix 1, mix 2, please NO.
A CRT television
Although the no-TV trend is growing exponentially these days, I won’t ask you to chuck out yours just yet. BUT the televisions with an unnecessary box hanging from the back? Unacceptable. It’s an eye sore, and it’s an indicator of an apathetic lifestyle. So my advice, turn off LBC (because that’s probably the only channel you get with good signal), tell your grandma you need to move out, and buy an LCD for your new place! Look at how much this post helped you already!
Subtracts extra points if you haven’t bothered to remove your VCR. It’s not hipster, love. It’s sad.