Listomania
20 Things All Lebanese Dads Have In Common
We had a giggle about things Lebanese mothers have in common but dads, don’t think you got away that easily. We’ve picked up on your quirky habits and hilarious traits too, and here they are. Enjoy!
1. They all think they’re hilarious.
They’ll laugh at their own joke before you’ve understood it. And you’ll proceed to laugh at his laugh as opposed to laughing because it’s funny.
2. And they all think they’re ridiculously cool.
And probably have some sort of cringe-worthy dance that they only showcase at special occasions, usually when they’ve had too much 3ara2.
3. They curse themselves while cursing you.
And I always get in more trouble for having a smug look on my face because it’s pretty hilarious.
Always got me crying when an Arab dad yells “Yin3an Abook” at his son.
— yousef (@YousefAbdeIhay) 31 October 2016
4. Beer bellies galore.
They all seem to have a cute little beer belly which was obviously a 6 pack back in the day. (Or so they say.)
5. They seem to know everyone.
Everybody seems to know baba! That’s why if you need anything, and I do mean anything, he probably knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who can sort you out. Lebanese dads give life to the word wasta.
6. The Jesus robe.
Why do dads always have a bathrobe that’s long with wide sleeves that they insist on walking around the house in? Yes, I have named it the Jesus robe.
7. He’s partially blind.
As they get older, most Lebanese dads seem to have these cute little reading glasses that rest on the tip of their noses. The thing is, they’re not actually used for reading, but rather for more important things, like watching funny Facebook videos.
8. TV time is precious time.
Whether it’s the news every day at 8 PM sharp or his beloved mousalsal, his TV time is precious. Don’t talk, and most certainly don’t breathe.
9. Do not bring up politics at the dinner table.
Because heaven knows that’s a conversation that will never end (or might even end with a chicken flying across the room).
10. His post-lunch nap is sacred.
Again, don’t talk, don’t breathe, and do not even tread remotely close to his precious sofa that he takes a nap on every Sunday after lunch (even if the remote control is under him).
11. His war stories are endless.
Horror stories, funny stories and “I’m glad I’m not you, dad” stories, baba seems to have endless war tales that he seems to make relevant to every single situation in the world. Dad, there’s no food! “Bi iyyem el 7arb we had to smuggle bread into the village!”
12. He’s always loaded with cash.
– “Dad, can I have $10?”
– “Take 50!”
13. If you’re his son:
You’re his hero, his king, his pride and joy and rejjel el beit, even if you’re fresh out the womb.
14. If you’re his daughter:
You’re his pretty little princess. Even if you’re 40.
15. “Papi! Paaaappppaaaa”
You can absolutely tell what kind of father a man is, and his social class, simply by what his daughter calls him, whether it’s Pap, Papi, Papa, Baba, Bayyeh, Dad or by his first name.
16. SWAG.
He’s either in a suave open collar shirt and suit, or in socks and sandals. There is no in between.
17. “S2ale emmik!”
If you want to do anything, just know this will be his reply. Mama is actually the big boss in the house and he’s scared of her too.
18. The infamous mustache.
Why did they all have a creepy looking mustache back in the day (that’s now a black and white photo at your grandma’s house) that they all reminisce on as if it was attractive?
19. THE SNORING
We all feel sorry for our mothers, the house next door, and the neighboring continent because nobody – and I mean nobody – can escape the sound of baba’s snoring.
20. And last, but certainly not least:
He insists on teaching you how to drive, in his own special way.