The Six Most Annoying Types of Tourists in Lebanon

The summer is upon us. Prepare for relaxing days sprawled out under the sun, sipping cocktails by the pool, cool nights under the stars, days off from work cause no one really gives a crap, and… tourists. Things have gotten tense over the past year, but Tourism Minister Michel Pharaon is predicting a fruitful summer tourism season. Here’s what we can expect:

1. The World Traveler

GIF via Ma Nouvelle Mode Blog

Once, I was in Mar Mikhael, and we ran into these two guys who were on a year-long mission to get drunk in every single country in the world. Yes, you read that correctly. The night before, they had tried to crash a party at the Baabda Presidential Palace. Needless to say, they were thrown in jail for the rest of the night. Lebanon gets a lot of these stragglers. Check out Graham Hughes – he actually visited every single country in the world – and rated Lebanon at #81.

2. The Woman Having a Midlife Crisis

GIF via Huffington Post

These are mostly concentrated around the Gemmayzeh area. They saw the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” and thought it would be an excellent idea to do their own little hybrid adventure. And what better place than Lebanon? I mean we have it all, right? Food, charm, beauty, history, danger. It’s thrilling.

3. The Khalijis

GIF via Imgur

By far the most popular type of tourist in Lebanon is the Khaliji. They flood – literally flood – the country in the summer months. They’re everywhere. North, South, East, West, up, down, left, right, behind you, in front of you… EVERYWHERE. They’re the reason you can’t find a table at your favorite restaurant, all the resorts are booked, and why all of a sudden the amount of tinted Range Rovers on the city’s streets absolutely skyrockets. They’re also the people small business owners rely on to live. I can’t complain about that.

4. The Invincible Tourist

GIF via Xclusive Touch

Cycling in a deserted area of the Bekaa? Check. Trekking through a valley most people wouldn’t even think of setting foot in? Double check. Climbing a mountain with no safety infrastructure? Easy-peasy. While we can appreciate their sense of adventure, there are just some things you Should. Not. Do. Anywhere. Ever. Unless you want to die.

5. Lebanese Expats Back for the Summer

GIF via Tumblr

“Oh my goddddd! What are you doing?! That’s against the law!!!!!” or, “I’ going to sue you for this. I know my rights. I’ve read the constitution!” are some very popular statements you hear from the expats who come back to visit during the summer. Mostly, it’s the kids of immigrant parents who’ve never been to Lebanon before. They are bewildered at the state of the country. Motorcycles flying everywhere, people screaming at one another in the middle of the streets, no traffic lights, a couple bombs here and there. One thing’s for sure, they’ll leave with newfound respect for the rest of us who live hear year round.

6. Backpackers

GIF via Buzzfed

Come to Hamra in the summer and you will inevitably see someone carrying a gigantic backpack. All the Arab men sit in their little cafes staring at these blonde, blue eyed mystical creatures with really bad sunburns walking around with a map – yes, a map, HA!