Schedules are updated every Thursday.

Nadia Brickhouse 31 Mar 2015

Beirut’s Best Meat Markets (And No, We’re Not Talking Halal)

Beirut is generally a pretty easy place to meet people. Unlike Scandinavia or cold places where the natives avoid making eye contact with one another, people here are mostly friendly and welcoming and willing to chat up strangers, if not offer to let them move into their homes. Another nice thing is that you have a constant flow of transients who are basically always looking to make new friends. It’s like one big airport terminal – only with better-looking people.

Now, truth be told, the longtime Beirutis are sometimes less approachable. People who’ve lived here longer than five days tend to develop an insufferable attitude of ownership, casting down their noses on people who’ve been here a mere two days, and who clearly have no idea what’s up. Some friend circles are harder to crack than others – and you’ll have to adjust your expectations accordingly.

But we’re not talking about making friends, and we’re definitely not talking about looking for love. We’re talking about places where you can meet people to have sex. Kids these days are all doing it on Tinder, but maybe you want to be old fashioned. So save your units on your cellphone for candy crush. This is where you can meet people IRL.

(Image via Tumblr)

1. Where to meet fuck buddies

The grocery store.
The grocery store is a great place to meet people because it’s so domestic. Pickup pointers: People love it when you ask their advice because it makes them feel important. Ask someone hot, “have you used this bathroom tissue before? What do you think of it?”

b.General Security.
All that waiting in line with no cell phone makes General Security the ideal spot for potential hookups with total strangers. Plus all the frustration means the sexual tension is through the roof! Pickup pointers: Make eye contact with your potential lover and offer to give them one of your extra passport photos.

2. Where to meet a one-night stand

a. The Corniche.
There is one guy I see all the time who runs up and down the Corniche day in and day out trying to pick up women. He’s hit on me like five different times since I moved to Lebanon– he must have amnesia because he never remembers he’s done it before. I think he’s a creep, but if you get desperate, that’s always an option. Actually on second thought, don’t do it. You’ll wind up getting raped and it will be all my fault.

(Image via tumblr.com)

b. Places frequented by tourists.
Café Em Nazih in Gemmayzeh is a good place for this, so long as you’re willing to hook up in a shared dorm room and possibly catch crabs, plus put up with the hassle of playing tour guide the next morning. On the plus side, Sven heads back to Finland next week so no worries about those awkward encounters months down the line. Pickup pointers: Show up and ask people where they’re from. We don’t need to make things complicated.

(Image via
(Image via

Where to meet your potential soul mate

a. A demonstration in favor of civil marriage.
If you can find someone who is single at a rally for civil marriage, you can be sure that you’ve pretty much hit the jackpot and will be civilly wed in Cyprus within a year. Pickup pointers: carry a poster that says ‘I don’t have a boyfriend but when I do, I want to get civilly married in Lebanon,’ with your phone number underneath it.