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Lama Hajj 20 Mar 2016

We Need To Talk About These Explosive Detectors

Has any bomb been detected by these detectors? Or is their only purpose to force me stare into a dead-eyed man for 10-15 seconds every time I want to purchase underpants?

A while back there were several reports about malls and office centers using fake explosive detection devices. There were also more extensive reports about a British businessman named James McCormick making and selling fake detectors around the Middle East. Yet we still have these so-called explosive detectors at the entrance of every mall and center in Lebanon.

It is unknown whether or not the current detectors used at malls are legit or just fake pieces of plastic that are meant to psyche out terrorists. And in the greater scheme of things, who would want to blow up the parking lot of ABC or City Center? What a lazy ass terrorist you would be.

THE WORST PART IS WHEN THEY WHIP OUT THE LITTLE HAND MIRROR. Fuck you, dude. You think I’m just going to casually tape my bomb to the bottom of my car?

Ironically, the most effective bomb detecting device is a trained bomb-sniffing dog, so put adorable puppies at the entrance of every mall, please. Now.