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William Daou 18 Jun 2017

14 Confessions From Bartenders Around Beirut

Turns out you don’t just need excellent knowledge of mixing, garnishing and serving drinks, you also need to have a lot of patience and quite the thick skin. This job is not for the faint-hearted.

1. Dany’s: “A girl walked in and was screaming a guy’s name. She walked in the toilet and then walked out followed by a man. He grabbed her forearm, she turned and punched him. Apparently, he was cheating on her and she caught him in the toilet.”

2. Calibri: “Fi customer bi ekher el sakra talabnela taxi. Nehna w 3am ntale3a la barra wa2a3it 3al ared. 2am jebtella war2et na3na3 w 3atayta yeha. Fakareta warde, tkhayalo benet sekrane hemle war2et na3na3 we2fe bara natra taxi, bas tkhayalo el manzar.”

3. Calibri: “Kello biheb el romance w byejjo bifakro el bartender hero. Fa ejet benet w shtaretle warde w sar badda tekhedne 3a bayta et3araf 3a ahla. Btehkeene whatsapp bet2elle enta leh betkoun shi bil pub w la halna shi tene?”

4. Calibri: “Ba3rif tnen dallo 7 sneen, keno yejjo la 3ande. Tkhana2o w tarako, sar ye3do 3al bar kil wahad bi mahal w yefdaho ba3ed.”

5. Calibri: “Fi wahad 2ijja la hon, shereb shi ktir 2awi w sekir. Bteje marto bi ekher el sahra 3am tsarikh ‘Enta 3am tbee3 faresh el beit aw 3am teskar?'”

6. Li Beirut: “Fi wehde fetit w khalasit first 5 drinks bi 10 d2ayi2. Balshet tehke ma3 3alam ma bta3refon w t2oul badda ta3mol matching tattoos ma3on. Sa2letne shu ba3mol, eltella eno kenet 3am ba3mol management w wa2afet, balshet tebke w aletle ‘badak tkaffe darsak’ w ma ba2 tetrekne min l se3a 5 lal 9 ze3lene le ma kamalit darse.”

7. Li Beirut: “We had a customer who fell from the top of the stairs and hit the wall. It was her birthday and she wasn’t even drunk yet. Oh, and she broke her hand as well.”

8. Neighbors: “Bifouto 3alam y2oloule bade whiskey on the rocks talejten.”

9. Anonymous: “A couple of months ago, a couple of women came and sat on the bar. They were all good-looking ladies, so naturally one of our staff members started approaching one of them, and they went home together. Later, he found out she was a man. He quit his job and nightlife all together.”

10. Anonymous: “I had this customer, he was a regular he used to come in all the time, he’d order 1 corona and 2 tequila shots. He had a longtime girlfriend and was telling me he was proposing the day after. I know she didn’t suit him, but he always used to tell me she was the love of his life. He started explaining his plan of going in from the back door and all that. A couple of weeks passed and he didn’t pass by the place, until that one time. He walks in and he starts ordering strong drinks like absinthe, and practically pulling his hair out of his scalp. Turns out the day he was proposing, he walked in on his girlfriend with another woman.”

11. Tipsy Goose: “3ande zboun, sma3o hayde bihayeta hadan ma 3emela 3ande. Shereb w sar lezim nekhido 3al bet, wosil 3a ekher l shere3 w faj2a fatah l beb w harab 2al baddo ykammil l sakra.”

12. Tipsy Goose: “Abel wa2ta kenit eshteghil bi Monot, fi wahad howe w marto 2ad ma tkhana2o, fadaynelon el mahal.”

13. Anonymous: “A customer once puked on me.”

14. Anonymous: “My friends keep coming into the place ordering drinks and leaving without paying, because once I started working there I invited them once w njala2o.”