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Tanya Maalouf 09 Oct 2017

How To Piss Off Your Lebanese Dad In 10 Simple Steps

We recently told you how to piss your Lebanese mom off in ten simple steps. In case that wasn’t enough, here are ten simple ways in which you can piss off your Lebanese dad.

1. Tell him you’re dating someone, but it’s not serious

This is an oxymoron for Lebanese fathers, why would you be dating someone if it’s not serious? WHY? HOW? NO!

2. Like your Lebanese mother, disagree with him about absolutely anything

3. Complain about anything

Because we all know, no one has struggled more in life than your Lebanese dad, and your complaints about traffic on the way to work will be met with extravagant stories of him hiking through snowy mountains just to get to school in the morning.

4. Tell him you can’t make it to Teta’s house for lunch because you’re going to a beach party

5. Pursue a university degree in English Literature

Because university is a waste of money if you’re not going to become a doctor or an engineer.

6. Sleep in on the weekends

7. Talk back to him

Never, ever do this. If he says something that is completely wrong, or if he’s scolding you about something you’ve said or done, just stay quiet, DO NOT talk back unless you want him to unleash the nuclear bomb that is his screaming voice.

8. Ask him for extra money after the age of 19

9. Come home late at night

Any time after 10 PM is late if you’re still living at home and you’re in your mid twenties.

10. Take his car out for a spin