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Lama Hajj 30 Jul 2020

Banks Not Giving You Your Money? Here Are Some Ridiculous BDL Souvenirs

Oh you thought the financial crisis couldn’t possibly get any more insulting? Allow us to take you on a trip down the fucked up boulevard of Lebanon’s broken dreams.

For the LOL of the day, head to the SOUVENIRS tab on Banque du Liban’s website. (Does our money count as a souvenir yet?) There, you’ll find a medley of totally unwearable, unusable, and ridiculous shit for those who want to walk away with a little memento of our glorious central bank.

To begin, for just a mere 1,300,000 LL, you can have an uncut sheet of fifty-four 20,000 LL banknotes. I know what you’re thinking, 54 x 20,000 LL = 1,080,000 LL – so why the 220,000 LL markup? They’re even saving on cutting fees! First of all, don’t be stingy and second of all, just chalk it up to financial engineering.

This would make a magnificent wallpaper for your toilet.

Now, moving on to the jewelry section (yes, really). Do you ever glance down at your wrist and feel as though it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi? Fret not, BDL has got the perfect accessory: the 5 PIASTERS COIN WATCH!

The male version for that man who wants to say, “I have money, but not really”. Price: 200,000 LL – a real catch!

And ladies, don’t think the good people of BDL have forgotten you!

The female version for the woman who wants to say, I used to get paid in dollar. Price: 300,000 LL – more expensive than the male version because, sexism.

Guys. It was someone’s job to set up this section. Stay tuned for more pieces bashing discussing this wonderful section!