If there’s one good thing about being Lebanese, it’s the healthy dose of national holidays sprinkled throughout the year. But this abundance has also come with some easy-to-spot tropes, thus here is the definitive guide of the 6 specific types of people that emerge on a Lebanese holiday.
1. The Sleeper
Also known as: the restful, the dreamer, the exhausted.
– They wake up at 1:00 PM, take a nap at 4:00 PM, and go to sleep at 10:00 PM
– Their only day activities are binging a show, playing a video game, and scrolling through social media.
– They have a cat joining them in all these activities.
– They still wake up tired the next day.
– Sworn enemy: yalli b fee2 ma3 l djejet
2. The This Is The Day I Finally Do Everything-er
Also known as: the manic, the behind, and the mother.
– They wake up at 8:00 AM and go to sleep at 1:00 AM, no rest.
– They have an endless list of chores to get through, such as cleaning out the closet, rearranging the shelf, and vacuuming.
– They disturb the house sleeper, their longtime nemesis.
– They will complain keef the day 2ata3 bser3a at 11:00 PM.
3. The This Is The Day I Finally Do Everything-er *but romanticized*
Also known as: the romanticizer, the artist, and the pretentious
– They wake up at 9:00 AM and go to sleep at 4:00 AM.
– Day’s activities include: writing, reading, painting, baking, all at once.
– They still manage to spend the majority of their time on social media.
– They post stories of the sunset/rain/storm/clouds la2anno mesh kel l sha3b l lebnene tahet nafs l sama
4. The Explorer
– They wake up at 6:00 AM and go to sleep at 10:00 PM.
– They have a full day’s activities planned in Batroun/Baalbek/Tripoli/Tyre/Zahle/wherever
– They only visit tourist traps
– They take way too many pictures and are sore by the end of the day
– They will need to open Instagram to actually remember what they did throughout the day.
5. The How Do I Make This Day Never End-er
– They wake up at 10:00 AM
– They write articles about how we should have many more holidays please, twice.
– They alternate between being the sleeper and the romanticiser
6. The Exploited
– They have work, either because their boss sucks or they work for a foreign company.
– They still plan to have a semi-holiday but just end up working even more
– They swear that next holiday it won’t be like this (it will)
– They question all their life choices in the only moment of peace they have at 11:00 PM.