9 Lebanese Filler Episodes We Need Right Now

Going from world historical event to world historical event can be quite a tough experience. We need time to breathe, sit back, and not question our own mortality 24/7. What is the solution? It is the same solution all modern sitcoms should adopt – we need more filler episodes. Filler episodes are when TV shows dedicate a few episodes to random subplots, saving their more major narrative arcs to the ratings-key periods at the end of the television season. These can be quite good, or quite awful (see Melhem and Najat). Here are some ideas we have for 9 Lebanese filler episodes. 1. Something satanic When was our last satanic scare? Let’s get kooky for a while, let’s have some random people start a conspiracy or something. 2. True primetime comedy Although Lebanon’s comedy scene is thriving offscreen, what happened to having some good old TV sketches and actually funny late night shows, someone fix that. 3. A Lebanese politician says something stupid Remember how long everyone was stuck on Lemon doubly and la da3ee lal hala3, dark times that we need right now. 4. True popstar beef When was the last time we had true popstar beef, all out destruction. We’ve only had tiny Fares’ outrage, give us something truly spicy. 5. A mysterious new celebrity So she’s Lebanese-Chinese and speaks with a South African accent? Cast her in everything, let’s all obsess over this for a while. Also, men wen? 6. Ahmar bel Khat el 3areed greatest hits One of Lebanon’s most awful and problematic shows needs to dig back deeper and go to its roots to bring a round of discourse that will keep all Lebanese people busy for a few weeks. 7. A spicy affair Why is it only in America where we have TV show hosts openly engaging in extramarital affairs? Someone do something stupid here and let’s commodify it for another round of content. 8. A random book/movie is banned And let’s all pretend to be experts about it for a week and then forget forever. 9. An almighty pet There’s this dog bel Koura that can speak and read, it predicted who our next president will be and when the sky will fall onto the ground…