10 Ways Lebanese Parents Apologize

Lebanese parents, whether moms or dads, agree on a lot, and one of the biggest points of agreement is on the art of the non-apology apology. Here are 10 classic ways they like to do it.

1. Food

Eat and stuff all your emotions down right now.

2. Surprise! Extra food

How did this food get here? Why am I giving it to you right now? How will this lead to the ultimate forgiveness?

3. Now Fruits!

Special delivery! Fruits from the forgiving plate. I was going to make you something savory but that word is just too close to sorry.

4. Ma fiyo el wa7ad ye7ke shi edemkon

Khalas ma3le mashouna.

5. Emsho nrou7 kazdoura

I’m not 12, dad! (but also yes in)

6. Lek shu jebtelkon

It’s a piece of chocolate I forgot in my wallet a week ago, if that’s not sorry I don’t know what is.

7. You can stay out as late as you want today

I will pretend I do not see.

8. Na2eskon shi masare?

That’s rude and I hate you, but you know what, in this economy…

9. Yi btetzakaro lamma…

It’s a trap, stop listening now.

10. They just don’t

Nothing ever happened, nothing is real.