Listomania
Melissa Sleiman

12 Things All Lebanese Dads Agree Upon

We love you, Lebanese dad, but we must inform you, you’re not as unique as you might think. Here are 12 things all Lebanese dads will probably be in agreement upon.

1. I am going to say no, no matter what!

No!

2. I’m paying the bill!

No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill! No, I’m paying the bill!

3. Whatever your mom just said

Or the exact opposite, because today I am the cool chill contrarian one.

4. Do not stand in front of my TV

Ever.

5. Time to eat

8:00 – Breakfast
9:00 – Breakfast 2
10:00 – Brunch -1
11:00 – Brunch 0
12:00 – Brunch 1
1:00 – Lunch

6. Show me the la7me naye!

And 7 other dishes that could kill a Victorian child

7. I hate the cat

That’s why I got her this special secret snack I will feed her when you all go to sleep.

8. Zeed el toum

9. Badda shay

Which I won’t make.

10. Ma ana ken azde…

Sure, old man.

11. Aya saf ento?

Ah eh, ma ana kenet 3aref.

12. Silence

Because I’ll never admit I don’t know .