9 Things You’ll Understand If You Went To A Religious School

Religious schools (also known as survival of the fittest/trauma factories) have got a lot to offer. No matter what religious school you went to, regardless of the dogma behind it, we can all bond over these nine universal things we had to endure.

1. Having to stick with a boring costume

Just when you’ve started exploring your sense of style, you are bound to wear the boring and impersonal navy blue and grey shirts and pants.

2. Forget about makeup, a beard, nail polish, and hairstyles

Basically anything that has to do with your personal sense of style, you can forget it. Even though it is your hair, Soeur Cecile doesn’t want you to come into school as a redhead, so you won’t.

3. Code-switching

Adapt to survive. Bring forward your best right-wing lines and mannerism. There is no acting school that can compete with a non-traditional kid who graduated from a religious school.

4. Acting sexless

You may never show any sign of interest in the subject of sex until the day you graduate (and a little more because, trauma). And if you had sex ed, it was extremely weird and more about baby-making.

5. You’ll always dodge personal questions

Teachers and administrators always wanted to know about how you really felt, and all about your personal/family life. Why? Because they love you! And they may or may not keep a secret database about you.

6. Every staffer is a spy

By grade 10, they have enough data to predict your behavior.

7. Having that one flirtatious teacher

Disgusting.

8. Sexism for breakfast

Even if your girls-to-boys ratio is unbalanced, the few guys in your class will still be treated as first class citizens – while girls will be scolded for talking to guy.

9. Obviously, your religion classes still haunt you

The fact that you can cite scripture from memory is…upsetting.