Ten Things That Should Actually Be Banned in Lebanon
After Tripoli’s mayor announced a ban on alcohol advertising in the northern Lebanon city earlier this month, and following a nationwide ethical awakening fueled by profound feelings of indignation (mostly from social media users) over the decision, we decided to propose our very own selection of things that should really be banned from the country.
Those who dare inflict eyebrow tattoos upon the innocent faces of humanity should be charged with aesthetic murder. Lebanonβs female population is in deep need of a national eyebrow awareness campaign to soak up the disastrous facial outcomes of a decades-long eyebrow crisis. We urge all NGOs to cooperate.
I understand youβre getting married and all but Iβm afraid Lebanonβs history of clashes, wars and bombings leaves no legitimate place for sound effects that make residents fear their impending death.
The Arabic word for βdisapprobationβ and all its derivatives should be immediately scratched out of the political lexicon, if only for the national irritation it causes. Local political figures should start looking for more creative post-bombing vocabulary alternatives.
Iβm not sure if Lebanese TV or the Turkish National Broadcasting system is to blame, but Iβm forever clueless as to why the trend happened in the first place. All I know is that it should end before another season of βHarim El Sultanβ airs.
Weβre not going to delve into why a nut-job like you should be allowed to carry a firearm in the first place, but it’s really uncalled for – the way you unleash bullets into the sky like it’s the next Die Hard movie every time a political figure delivers a speech. The government should issue a celebratory gunfire ban already. There’s nothing to celebrate about bullets flying recklessly in the air.
There’s either an unexplained abundance of tires on the Lebanese market or an unexplained abundance of nonsense. The Ministry of Information should probably convince a bunch of local celebrities to appear in a nationwide advertising campaign about the dangers of burning tires.
8. The Whole βNefrah Mennikβ Drama (Image via Giphy)
This should be listed under invasion of privacy and psychological harassment, with charges doubled when used as a greeting. You think itβs just fine to embarrass innocent people at any given social occasion with no regard for their feelings of self-worth or life aspirations?
These fall somewhere between visual pollution and illegal dissemination of nonsense. Seriously though, why do we need βma fi wafa-typeβ statements on a public transportation vehicle?
Listomania
