10 Thoughts You Have When Your Car Breaks Down In Lebanon

We’ve all been there. You jump into your beloved car, put the key in, but it doesn’t turn on. Or it turns on but doesn’t move. Or it moves but doesn’t turn on. Horrible, horrible times. Here are 10 thoughts a Lebanese person will have at exactly that moment:

1. Meen 3am yetala3

Do I look stupid? This is embarrassing. Stop embarrassing us car, please. Let me pull a wtf is going on and look around as if I’m doing something.

2. I will fix it through sheer willpower

Turn on, turn off. Turn on, turn off. Turn on, wait, turn off. This car is definitely an Aries.

3. Meen darabne 3en

Is it the neighbors, khodarje, the dekanje, or the OMTanje? Everyone hates me, I am God’s most cursed soldier.

4. Meen badde odrob

Neighbors, khodarje, dekanje, aw OMTanje?

5. Shu ba3mel hala2?

I’ve been in this situation many times before (BMWs), but what do I do now?! Why is life not like a GTA game?

6. What does a mechanic even do?

The mechanic could say this needs 5 days or 1 day, $1,000 or $50, and I would just nod. I don’t know what the fuck is going on up in the mystical lands of car repair.

7. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

We have moved to the anger stage of grief.

8. Ayre bel dawle

Leh la2?

9. Leh ana leh?

Leh el siyarat bas byentez3o bel manate2 el [tab3eetiye]?

10. Why do we even use cars?

Has anyone actually stopped and thought about this? We have multi-ton murder machines just casually driving up and down asphalt in the city. Most deaths a year are a result of car accidents, they cost so much, and they keep you stuck in traffic for hours at a time. This might be the most inefficient and stupidest mode of transport we could have. Someone please deal with this.