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Lama Hajj

Rich Kids of Lebanon Complain: The Syrians Are Cramping Our Style

In what can only be described as an atrocious tragedy, the Syrian conflict has managed to harvest a new set of victims. Though there is already a ton of coverage on the Syrian people, the children, the mothers, and the displaced, this new set of victims has been gravely affected by the war, but has not been represented in the media at all. This group is the rich kids of Lebanon.


(Image via Daily Finance)

What were once days filled with champagne, sushi brunches, and body kits for their obnoxiously extravagant cars, has turned into a daily dose of a grim reality they would much rather ignore. While they may have had ways to shut out most other conflicts (such as, but not limited to: attacks on the South of Lebanon and conflict in Tripoli), the Syrian crisis permanently changed everything by forcing them to stare into the eyes of devastation. This staring is often literal staring, done through the tinted windows of their Range Rovers.

“I can’t remember the last time I had brunch comfortably, like with no thoughts in my head. I feel weighed down all the time,” shared Jad, 17. “Going to brunch is now like a chore, I see Syrian refugees under my building, and then when I give my car to the valet there’s always a Syrian beggar standing right there. Why aren’t these kids in school? I mean seriously, just go to school in Syria.”

Somewhere in between their world of “you can’t arrest me, my dad will kill you,” and “you can’t fail me, my dad will kill you,” these teenagers have finally been forced to stare reality in the face, and they don’t like what they see. Despite having refuge of their own in their $2.3 million homes scattered around Beirut, the teens’ harrowing brush with Syrians is not limited to brunch time. Their Goldschläger filled nights are also tainted by what they so aptly call “the Syrians.”

Marc, who plans on working his way up from son of Member of Parliament to Member of Parliament, clarified that he’s cool with “the ones who have money” and doesn’t consider them to be a part of the aforementioned Syrians who bother him.

“We stay indoors more now,” says Marc, a smug look on his face, which he probably inherited from his mother. “It’s just too much to look at; aren’t we entitled to look at happy and nice things? We’re so young and we’re forced to see all this sad stuff, it’s not fair, it’s not cool.”

But while Marc isn’t willing to accept the refugee crisis as a permanent situation, he promises to do something so he and his friends can go back to the life they know and love; citing that he will be sure to bring up the problem the next time his father has lunch with the prime minister.

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This was a satirical blog post.