Listomania
22 Things You’re Only Afraid Of If You Live In Beirut
Oh, the horror.
1. That you’ll spend two hours finding a parking space, only to have the valet walk up to you and mark his territory.
2. That you’ll have to find parking in a mall…during Christmas.
3. Worrying that the weather you dress for when you wake up will not be the same weather by noon.
4. That this one particular pothole will be the straw on the camels back, finally destroying the bottom of your car.
5. Realizing that the likelihood of your internet dying before your Skype interview are really, really high.
6. Worrying that you’ll meet someone and fall in love, only to find out you’re somehow related.
7. Seeing this on Google Maps:
8. Getting food poisoning from your favorite shawarma spot, ruining it for you forever.
9. Being charged $5+ for a bottle of water at a restaurant/beach.
10. The prospect of running into your gossipy neighbor after a late night out.
11. The prospect of running into your gossipy neighbor while you’re buying condoms.
12. Having to pee while a politician’s motorcade casually blocks the road for 15-minutes.
13. Forgetting your earphones and being forced to have a lengthy political discussion with your cab driver.
14. Approaching a parking spot only to see a shitty plastic chair blocking it.
15. Having your family friends ‘drop in’ for 3 hours on your day off.
16. Having to complete governmental paperwork/errands without a wasta.
17. That some jerk could toss a cigarette from his car and burn the remaining greenery to the ground.
18. That your family will try to set you up with some horrendous spouse, and be extremely obvious while doing it.
19. That the pollution on the beach you always go to will give you cancer.
20. That that sound wasn’t just fireworks…
21. That the weird truck transporting cows in front of you will tip back on an incline and you’ll die by way of cow smash.
22. That today might be the day that the long awaited earthquake actually happens.
1. That you’ll spend two hours finding a parking space, only to have the valet walk up to you and mark his territory.
2. That you’ll have to find parking in a mall…during Christmas.
3. Worrying that the weather you dress for when you wake up will not be the same weather by noon.
4. That this one particular pothole will be the straw on the camels back, finally destroying the bottom of your car.
5. Realizing that the likelihood of your internet dying before your Skype interview are really, really high.
6. Worrying that you’ll meet someone and fall in love, only to find out you’re somehow related.
7. Seeing this on Google Maps:
8. Getting food poisoning from your favorite shawarma spot, ruining it for you forever.
9. Being charged $5+ for a bottle of water at a restaurant/beach.
10. The prospect of running into your gossipy neighbor after a late night out.
11. The prospect of running into your gossipy neighbor while you’re buying condoms.
12. Having to pee while a politician’s motorcade casually blocks the road for 15-minutes.
13. Forgetting your earphones and being forced to have a lengthy political discussion with your cab driver.
14. Approaching a parking spot only to see a shitty plastic chair blocking it.
15. Having your family friends ‘drop in’ for 3 hours on your day off.
16. Having to complete governmental paperwork/errands without a wasta.
17. That some jerk could toss a cigarette from his car and burn the remaining greenery to the ground.
18. That your family will try to set you up with some horrendous spouse, and be extremely obvious while doing it.
19. That the pollution on the beach you always go to will give you cancer.
20. That that sound wasn’t just fireworks…
21. That the weird truck transporting cows in front of you will tip back on an incline and you’ll die by way of cow smash.
22. That today might be the day that the long awaited earthquake actually happens.