If Grand Theft Auto (GTA) Was Set In Beirut

We’ve shown you how some of the world’s best tv shows would look if they took place in Beirut, but what if the world’s most popular video game franchise came to Beirut. Welcome to the underworld of crime in the Paris of the Middle East, good luck.

1. The City of Bertos

– Bchara el Khoury avenue is locked off due to construction works, separating East and West.
– The Ring Bridge is broken in the middle and only gets fixed mid game.
– The cops are immediately called on you if you stand around long enough in Downtown.
– Political residences are zoned off and immediately trigger gangs going after you.
– If you walk past Nejmeh square you get shot at.
– NPCs in the street ask you “men wen” when you stop next to them.

2. The Police

– Only respond to 1 out of 5 murders
– Always late, never chase
– Make you come to them when your car gets stolen
– When you’re arrested, you don’t lose your weapons or money (if you know who to call).

3. The Missions

– Bank heists, obviously.
– Political assassinations.
– Fere3 el ma3loumet vs moukhabarat vs amen dawle infighting.
– Lebanese Lira-USD rate manipulation.
– Mini civil wars.
– Crime scene cover ups.

4. Main Character #1: Firas

– From Saida.
– Has a dog named 3awwo.
– Drives a white Range Rover.
– A variety of fake jobs during the day, criminal underboss at night.
– Major player in the Lira-USD exchange market.

5. Main Character #2: Michel

– From Batroun.
– Drives a black Mercedes.
– On the AUB Board of Trustees.
– Friends with Riad Salameh, Marcel Ghanem, and Saad el Hariri.
– Involved in construction contracting, illegal sea resorts, gambling houses, and strip clubs.

6. Main Character #3: Tamer

– From Baalbek.
– Drives a gray Renault.
– Wanted by authorities in at least 6 countries.
– Often has to deal with 3ashira business (murder).
– Runs multiple drug smuggling operations.

7. Side Characters

– The plastic surgeon who has you go around ruining his previous jobs so he gets more customers.
– The pop star who needs you to cover up a murder.
– The actress who wants you to humiliate their rival.
– The TV host that needs you to carry out a blackmail operation.
– The public employee that needs you to secure their huge bribes.
– The ex-CEO who needs you to smuggle him out of the country.