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Mia Arawi 27 Mar 2023

We Did A Whole 15 Point List Without Mentioning The Timezones

Good morn-wait, fuck.

Hello and welcome to this safe haven free of any and all timezone-discourse. Instead of engaging in all that nonsense, we’re gonna do a 15 point list that doesn’t once mention time. What will it actually mention? Idk we’ll figure something out.

1. Let’s start off by taking a moment of silence for Lebanon’s top trope

Church-mosque coexistence pictures, we will miss you. Ma32oul hek jarastouna edem el ajaneb? Fortunately, 8 other tropes survive.

2. Shefto hal ta2es lyom?

Wallah ghareeb keef hek shames w sheta w shob w bared 3anjad global warming w hek

3. Lebanon is a nation in West Asia

Its capital is Beirut, it is bordered by Syria, Palestine, and the Mediterranean sea.

4. Ade el dollar?

Lol! Remember when we used to do that guys?! We even had 14 other fake exchange rates. Good times.

5. Ramadan Kareem!

You can enjoy some really exceptional offers this month

6. If you’re tired of all the math in your life, you’ll definitely hate this:

Here are 8 Very Lebanese Math Problems you can solve.

7. What was the best book you read last year?

Click here for a few recommendations.

8. This ChatGPT thing is pretty overblown I think

It’s always just like “I’m an AI model, I can’t do this, I’m an AI model I don’t have a preference.” Siri and Google Assistant have been able to carry out conversations for close to a decade, yet this one barely remembers what you said 2 minutes ago.Here’s how it did when we forced it to write about Lebanon

9. We once let a cat write an article

You can read it in all its glory here

10. Did you see this rising Lebanese star?

Marilyne Naaman absolutely wowed the judges with her performance during the blind auditions for The Voice France 2023.

11. I wonder if the global financial collapse is still happening aw khalas we’ve moved on

Either way, we have 12 sturdy tips for collapsing American banks.

12. Arabic translators really had no right making children content’s this catchy and smart

Just look at these.

13. The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round

3ami bou Massoud, 3youno kbar w soud

14. Anyway, why not dive into some history before you go

What’s the story behind Lebanon’s B018 nightclub?

15. Fuck, that was hard

Next time I’ll just cash in on the chaos.