Have you ever found yourself relating a little too much to this twenty-something millionaire from Canada? Well, you’re not alone. Here is how we imagine Drake would describe life in Lebanon as one of us, twenty-something-non-millionaires.
1. When that one friend of yours only calls you on Whatsapp
2. And when you get a Whatsapp call from a random +738 number
3. When you have 250,000 LL in your pocket
4. When you go to Cheesecake Factory Verdun with your family and your mom starts fighting with you about how late you got home last night
5. And then when she gives you that motherly ‘you’ll see what I’ll do to you when we get home’ look
6. When you tell your boyfriend to pick a place to eat and he suggests Barbar
7. And then, when you run into your ex at Barbar, and you order a juice
8. When your friend asks what you think of the tax hike
9. When your sister asks to borrow your car for her road trip to Batroun
10. When, after 5 years of patronage, you decide to park your car at a different parking because he’s 1,000 LL cheaper – but you still have to walk by the original parking guy on your way to work
11. When someone makes inappropriate comments to your friend on the street in Mar Mikhael
12. When, after fighting with the Natoor of your building asking why the elevator has gone out for the 5th time today, you hear it start moving
13. When you wonder why people won’t adopt the cute dogs up for adoption at Animals Lebanon
14. When you’ve been driving around Hamra for 1 hour and you finally find a spot to park, but another car starts reversing into it just as you start to pull in
15. When your foreigner friends don’t believe you when you tell them that Beirut is the party capital of the world
16. When you find yourself holding a Vodka Redbull at 6 AM at The Garten and your friend starts telling you that it’s time to go home, so you tell them you don’t need their negativity in your life anymore
17. And then you realize your friend was right and you’re actually the only one left dancing
18. And then you’re hungover the next day and you need your friend back
19. And then your friend finally calls you and tells you that she thinks you’re crazy and you need to learn to control yourself
20. When you become friends again
21. When you somehow manage to convince her to go out again tonight
22. When your ex asks to explain why you broke up, but it was clearly written in your essays sent over Whatsapp
23. When you finally get that beach day you’ve been waiting for, and you realize life in Lebanon can be quite alright
24. And you realize that the only way to make it in Lebanon is to live by the following motto:
