What If The Sopranos Was Set In Lebanon

One of the greatest television shows in history makes its way to Lebanon, what’s not to love?

1. Tony Soprano

– Works in construction contracting
– Lives in Dbayeh
– Once played poker at Casino du Liban with Rafic El Hariri and Nabih Berri
– Has said ana mish ta2ife then proceeded to beat a guy for being from a different sect
– Attended one semester of LAU, where he did not make the varsity football team
– Sends a crew every month to destroy nafa2 salim salam and then does maintenance on it

2. Carmella Soprano

– Has to be the best dressed at all the local funerals
– Aishti by the sea has a parking spot reserved in her name
– Donates a lot of money to the church, too much, don’t ask about her relationship to the local priest
– Convinced Tony to buy a second home in Faraya
– Has personal beef with Sethrida Geagea

3. Meadow Soprano

– AUB student
– Hates going back home because Dbayeh is so far
– Called her parents “traditional party sheeps” once
– Fetishises shi3a men
– #Thawra
– Future NGO worker

4. Christopher Moltisanti

– Lives in Batroun
– Addicted to hash (in a paranoid way)
– Has been an extra on a ramadan mosalsal
– Well known at the local police station
– Has a weird relationship with his former school principal

5. Adriana La Cerva

– Lives in Jbeil
– Local IT girl
– Very Frenchie
– Thinks going to Beirut is such a long trip
– Has many toxic BMW-driving exes

6. Paulie Gualtieri

– Lives in Achrafieh
– In a 20 year long beef with the nearest dekanje to his house
– Thinks Rafic El Hariri sara2 bas 3amar
– Believes Lebanon should have a dictator

7. Junior Soprano

– Lives in Antelias
– Fought in the civil war, talks about it too much
– Thinks kelon ya3ne kelon because all current politicians are weak and don’t have enough ruthless murder instincts

8. Jennifer Melfi

– Lives in Sin el Fil
– Was a school teacher for a while
– Calls the cops on her neighbors
– Attended AUB on a scholarship from Rafic El Hariri
– Thought Hassan Diab could save the country

1