10 Ways You Can Be A Lebanese Grinch This Christmas

Everyone always wants to be the hero of the story, but some understand the importance of being the antihero from time to time. If you’re one of those hate-filled kings who somehow always ends up rooting for the villain or the anti-hero, we hear you, we see you. Here are 10 ways you can be your best self this merry season. 1. Make everything sectarian Leh fi Santa aktar b manate2on mish b manate2na? 2. Alternatively, make everything about capitalism Sectarian angle didn’t work? Worry not. Don’t you guys think it’s disgusting how Santa has an army of exploited labor literally trapped with him in terrible freezing working conditions? 3. Every time you hear the word “Christmas”, roll your eyes to the back of your head Make sure everyone sees, be as toxic a presence in any room as you can be. 4. Opt out of all Christmas dinners/events Make sure everyone knows why. “Hatta law fi akel ma eli jlede el aghene w el mehen.” 5. If Christmas music comes on, either: – Go into a fit of unbridled rage and destroy everything around you – Play your own music louder (preferably satanic) – Get a gun and shoot all the speakers out 6. Never go to the mall during the holidays Festive ornaments, happy children, and Christmas jingles? Fuck that. 7. Spend this time with yourself and yourself ONLY No Christmas spirit can be found in the depth of your 4 day netflix binge. If you have any pets, we’re sorry you can’t be admitted to Grinch Academy. 8. Get super defensive when someone says “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” You think the gross mass commodification of society and the encouragement of mindless consumerism to fill the gaping holes of alienation in our heart are wonderful?! 9. Purposefully anti-decorate your place Put up the Easter decorations instead, as a statement. 10. Don’t buy anyone gifts, spend the money on yourself Self-care on point fr fr. Why would you try to show any love or appreciation to your loved ones? Are you a nerd?