12 Times Beirut Was Too Small

Small world? Life in Beirut sure makes it feel that way. Everyone is always one or two mutual connections away, and everyone can know anything about everything with just a few texts. If you’ve experienced the claustrophobia of living in the smallest big city, we’re sure you’ll relate to these 12 experiences. 1. When I run into an ex while strolling through Hamra It’s a classic, I’m wearing my worst clothes, my hair is a mess, and they (for once) look amazing. 2. When I’m stuck with my professor, my boss, and my ex-roommate at my uncle’s bank hold up We have ideas for 10 things you can do together. 3. When I run into my cousin at a Burger King at 12 AM after a night of heavy drinking It’s mutually assured destruction. The family does not need to know about this. 4. When I road rage at that same cousin the next morning “Shu kenet 3am ta3mel mbere7 3am toshrab toul el leil w ba3den tekol Burger King w hala2 feye2 meshe hek?” “Eh” 5. When a rumor you started gets back to you, with a twist Utilizing telephone casse to spread rumors about your enemies is low key goated when being an evil mastermind is the vibe. 6. When everyone knows the owner If everyone has the owner’s discount, does the owner’s discount exist? 7. When you’re bopping with your doctor at the club I will definitely trust you with my body and brain tomorrow morning you sweaty old man trying to grind up on the nearest body. 8. When you can’t talk to half the city because your friend group had that one relationship that went bad and ruined everything And every walk feels like a walk of shame. 9. When you have to look at a man who vomited on your shoes yesterday straight in the eye at a corporate meeting You can talk about KPI and metrics all you want, I know what you are. 10. When a “subculture” is just 20 people that regularly hang out at Em Sherif Socialism is having tea at [redacted] 3 times a week. Communism is having arak at [redacted] 5 times a week. 11. When you need wasta to get pasta bel basta This one doesn’t make any sense. 12. When this list could actually be about you