8 Alternative Presidential Candidates For Lebanon

Lebanon has been unsuccessfully trying to elect a president for almost three months now, and after ten electoral sessions, the only thing we’ve got out of this process is a few jokes.

Today on quirky presidential votes: al-mithaq, al-tawafoq, al-awlawiyat al-ria2siye, saret maskhara, Martin Luther King, Miled abou Melheb (who’s there and dressed as Santa)

— Beirut.com (@BeirutCityGuide) December 15, 2022

So if our wonderful national MPs can make a whole joke out of this process, why can’t we? Here are 8 alternative presidential candidates we’d love to have in Lebanon.

1. A Cat

Lebanon has tried many different types of presidents, but has anyone considered what would happen if we had a pawsident? The Cat Party has even released an official electoral platform, so check out their policies here.

2. Elon Musk

The new baron of Twitter has certainly been in the news over a few months, maybe a bit too much. Things can’t get much worse for the country,so let’s at least get him to bankrupt these 7 companies.

3. Saul Goodman

If you need to hustle your way out of multiple crises, there’s only one person you can turn to. You better call Saul! If Saul is not your taste, the TV party has 9 other candidates competing in their primaries.

4. Your Lebanese Mom

No one is to leave the house without a jacket, regardless of the season and 7 other well researched policies.

5. A White Professor

For all our self-orientalising friends that are begging for Lebanon’s re-colonisation, let’s see how your handle 10 days .

6. Any guy on Lebanese Tinder
Literally any guy. Everyone else is thinking with their dick anyway, so let’s go to the source.

7. Jennifer Coolidge

Everyone’s favorite Lebanese auntie, Jennifer Coolidge!

8. The Grinch

Christmas is already ruined, so let’s go all out with a Marxist-Grinichian president.