How to Handle a Super Clingy Boyfriend

Dear Ivy,
My boyfriend is super clingy – calling at every hour, constantly questioning me and wanting to spend every hour of every day together. How do I tell him off without hurting his feelings?

Unless you’ve got a degree in diplomacy, there’s no soft way to break it – especially if it’s going to come as a complete surprise to him. So before you give him a piece of it, ask yourself this: why is your man clingy? Is he insecure? Is he this way with everyone (friends, family) or just you?

Needy boyfriends are a huge turn off but such behavior could’ve been avoided had you set the ground rules right from the get-go. Sorry to break it to you, but the fact that he CAN call you every hour means you’ve enabled him.

Mind you, being clingy is one thing – but a barrage of questions exposes something deeper – trust and dominance issues. Many girls put up with non-trusting men; some even feel flattered, confusing excessive jealousy and over-protectiveness with love. That’s a big misconception, and he’s not your daddy. Unless you’ve shown him otherwise, he needs to back off and give you breathing room or risk losing you.

Dear Ivy,
I have a hard time trusting people, and I’m pretty sure this has led to some serious commitment issues. How can I overcome that and move forward in my current relationship?

I’m no shrink but trust issues usually stem from bad past experiences. You can’t let them shape your current relationships. And sure, if you’re really unlucky in love you may end up dating more than one cheater.

I’m not gonna give you the whole shebang about opening your heart in search of true love blah blah. The fact of the matter is you’re probably going after the wrong kind of guys thinking you can change them, and that’s not gonna happen. Bad boys are fun but they’re also a major head and heartache.

Try going out with the nice guy for a change. He’ll be giving you the sort of reassurance you need to move past your paranoia and eventually commit.

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