Listomania
15 Things Lebanese Moms Complain About Literally Every Day
A list of things our Lebanese moms complain about every day, you say? Well, we’ve got QUITE a few.
P.S. mom, if you’re reading this, no you’re not.
1. “Ma hada b se3edne bhal bet”
…after you offered to help AND SHE REFUSED.
2. TikTok
“Hayda l TikTok mesh mneeh. Allah bas bya3ref shu 3am ysad2o eshya wledna online, layko jeelon keef tale3”
*proceeds to forward articles spreading fake news on the WhatsApp group taba3 l 3ayle *
3. The weather
Every Lebanese mom: *complains about it being too hot in the summer*
Fall/Winter: *arrives*
Every Lebanese mom: “Yi shu hal bared, mesh msad2a terja3 l sayfiye”
4. When you don’t feel like eating l akel yalli “kello 7adid”
“Ana mesh ekhde habbet Panadol b hayete men wara hal akel l kello gheza”
“Ento badkon tomrado shi nhar”
5. Delivery services
It only makes sense that we follow up #4 with this point. Every Lebanese mom’s sworn enemy. They seriously hate nothing more. How dare you want take out when there’s an endless supply of labne bel barrad?
6. When you’re not wearing socks
“Lesh mesh lebseen kalset halla2 btomrado”
7. When you’re wearing socks
“Mbereh ghassalton la hal kalset w lyom ha tejwiyon, keef baddo ydal abyad ka3bo”
“Aslan meen byelbos kalset bhal shob”
8. Fucidin
You know when she loves something so much, it suddenly turns into complaining? Her love for Fucidin (or its equivalent) segues into hatred because you’re not loving it as much as she does.
“Ya 3amme hal Fucidin metel l se7er, dahanet menno mbereh shufo shufo”
“Ento mfakreen btefhamo b kel shi, t3allamo tesma3o men emkon w jarboo”
9. When you don’t want to get married (yet or at all)
“Wlek lesh badkon te7ermoone men a7fedkon, aslan helo l wa7ad yetzawaj”
*proceeds to complain about being married to your dad then goes on a rant about “lashu jebet wled ana”*
10. When you say “Yalla ba3d shway”
“Kel marra bet2oolo hek w betdallo 2a3deen 3a hal telephone khalas ma badde hada yse3edne kes ekht l b jeeb wled”
Sorry let me just drop everything and complete that task for you by communicating telepathically so it’s done before you even ask for it to be done 🫡
11. Any and every electronic device known to humankind
Your Lebanese mom is the most anti-tech person in the house while simultaneously being the person who relies on technology more than anyone else.
12. ChatGPT
A new addition to her list of complaints now with ever-changing times because ChatGPT is a new form of technology that will deteriorate people’s brains and make humans go extinct or something.
13. You, just existing
You are both her source of joy and disappointment, you just never know which one she’s picking that day. Sometimes she alternates between the two every couple of hours.
14. Population control
Is it just my mom or does everyone else’s mom turn everything that happens in the world into an evil underground scheme of population control?
15. Literally anyone else complaining
You, your dad, your neighbors, 3amto Fadia wel 3ayle kella – literally NO ONE goes through what our Lebanese moms go through and they’re the only people allowed to complain ever la2anno ne7na ma na2esna shi <3
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